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The benefits of long distance relationships

In the second episode of our podcast, we spoke about the benefits of long distance relationships.

Why?

Because long distance relationships tend to get a bad rap, and having been through the ups and downs of one, we totally understand why. But, now that we’ve made it through to the other side and are happily married, living side by side for more than seven years (you can learn all about our story here), we know without a doubt that we have benefitted from the days, weeks, months and years apart.

Long distance relationships are unlike any other relationship you’ll experience. You have all the wonderful factors that most healthy relationships have, like love, partnership and acceptance. But, you’re also facing a lot more challenges than people in a face to face relationship are dealing with. You have the painful absence of your love to deal with, the longing, the loneliness, and quite often feeling like a third wheel when spending time with friends. And that’s just the start of it.

If you’re in a long distance relationship, then chances are you’re already familiar with these things. And if you’re not, you’ve no doubt heard about them.

But despite the drawbacks, there are some big benefits to be reaped as well, and that’s what we’ll be looking at in this post.

1. Better communication skills

Relationships are based on communication. There’s the communication of being able to speak to each other, and also knowing how to talk to each other to encourage the other person to open up emotionally, or to know how to phrase something in a way that won’t irritate each other. In face to face relationships where the primary motivator can be anything from sex to being local to each other, communication can take a back seat.

But when you’re long distance, the majority of your relationship consists of simply communicating with one another.

This means that every time you Skype, FaceTime, talk on the phone or text, you’re perfecting your communication skills. You have to talk, and really talk, when you’re long distance, because when you’re not in the same spot, there’s nothing else you can do to nurture the relationship. What you may not notice at the time is that all that communicating is laying down a rock solid foundation for your relationship. Further down the line when you do close the distance, those communication skills are going to make everything so much easier.

2. Truly knowing each other

Since being in a long distance relationship means you’re constantly communicating (and most likely doing it pretty well) you get to know one another a lot more deeply than some people in a normal, side by side relationship. This is because alllllll those endless hours of talking allow you to ask questions, tell stories and really learn the details of the person you love.

This doesn’t mean that people who aren’t long distance don’t know each other well. But the distance between you allows you to probe a little deeper without distractions because you are so focused on one another when you do get to speak.

3. Not taking things for granted

No matter how perfect a couple is, how much you love each other or how happy you are, there are going to be times where someone is taking the other person for granted. Or perhaps taking the relationship in general for granted. Long distance lovers work extremely hard to keep their relationship going and constantly feel the pain of being apart. This effort and longing goes a long way in making you realise exactly what you have, and you truly appreciate the time you spend together.

Again, this is another pay off you will experience when you close the distance. Thinking back on those times when you were separated by miles and time zones, it’s a little easier to realise how far you’ve come and not take for granted the fact that your partner is with you all the time, adding immense value to your life.

4. Amazing sex

Couples who aren’t separated by distance can typically have sex whenever they want. There’s also no mystery – they know what the other person smells like, what they look like naked and how their skin feels.

On the flip side to that, when you’re separated by distance there’s a lot of buildup – buildup of emotions, desires, longing, and so many very powerful feelings. When you want someone but can’t have them, when you have to imagine the smell of their hair, the feel of their skin, added to the emotional trauma of not being able to be with that person – that all adds up to earth-moving sex when you can finally do it.

And, when you know you’re going to be apart again soon, you tend to try and work in as much sex as possible. And everyone likes lots of good sex.

5. Absence makes the heart grow fonder

It might sound a little cliche, but this old saying is definitely true. Your time together is that much sweeter because your time apart has left you feeling like you’re living life without an arm or a leg. After a period of distance, your love’s smile will look a little sexier, the light in their eyes a little brighter, and the overall experience of them a lot stronger.

6. It’s worth it in the end

When you’re in the thick of it, it can feel like this is how it will be forever.

But that’s not the case.

People, including us, make them work for years, but there does need to be an end in sight, even if it’s a long way away. When you do finally close the distance, those months or years spent apart are more than worth it – and not just because of how long you’ve had to wait.

All the elements of a long distance relationship intertwine to create roots that provide a strong foundation for a happy partnership. The patience and dedication required from both parts in a long distance relationship show you how much you mean to your partner, and they are definitely traits you’d want in the person you plan to spend the rest of your life with.

We also invited people on Reddit to tell us what benefits they had recognised, and here are two responses from people who were happy to be included in this post:

Needless to say, we agree with all of these. What would you add to the list? Leave a comment and tell us.

Want to know more about the benefits of long distance relationships? Listen to episode 2 of From Long Distance to Marriage where we discuss the topic at length!