Maintaining balance in a long distance relationship
An exciting, blossoming relationship can (and should be) all consuming. The discovery of another human being on such a deep level is something that sets the soul alight. Falling deeply in love, as we all know, can render you sleepless, without an appetite, and completely unable to focus on other aspects of your life.
Long distance relationships can take this all a step further, sometimes pushing us to the brink of insanity – but in a good way! This is because when you feel all the above when you’re absent from the one you love, you end up working yourself up into a frenzy of need. Needing to talk to your significant other, needing to hear from them, needing to know what they’re experiencing in life at that very moment and needing to feel their touch. This can make it even easier to neglect other important areas of your life.
Finding a way to balance your everyday life when you’re in a long distance relationship can be really difficult. Naturally, you want to devote every spare second when you’re not working or studying to texting or talking to the love of your life. And while it’s healthy and we would totally encourage you to put your partner first even when you’re in a long distance relationship, it’s also healthy to make sure you allow time for other parts of your life. And we’re speaking from experience here.
Don’t distance yourself from your friends & family
When you’re deep in a long distance relationship, it can be beyond tempting to spend time you would otherwise allocate to social experiences holed up in your bedroom FaceTiming with your love. It can actually start to become a bit of an addiction. And while any good friend should recognise the intensity of what you’re going through and how difficult your LDR is, you shouldn’t let your other relationships fall by the wayside. This is something that Aindrea definitely experienced in our early days. Thankfully, her friends cared enough to voice their concerns about spending less time together before it was too late. But some became frustrated and gave up instead, and that’s something she still carries with her.
Establishing a balance in this department is really important. In a face to face relationship, you wouldn’t alienate your friends, so don’t let this take over when you’re in a long distance relationships. Chicks before dicks and bros before hos and all that jazz. Not really – but your friends are a very important aspect of your life and when the dust of long distance settles, whether the relationship is a success or not, you’ll want your friends there with you. And spending time with those who are important to us is a valuable part of everybody’s mental health, meaning that a good night out with the girls or boys will put you in a happier mindset, meaning you can give your partner more of the best of you.
Put the phone down
We remember well the days of obsessively checking our phones. Back in our long distance days, we didn’t have WhatsApp or iMessage so we communicated via email, incessantly tapping the refresh button to see if we’d received a message from one another.
There’s nothing more baffling than being in the middle of a fun, romantic or sexy text exchange when suddenly your partner stops responding and disappears for minutes or hours. Keep your mind in check, don’t let your imagination run away with you.
Sometimes it’s healthy to put your phone down and go do something for yourself, or tackle a task you’ve been neglecting for a while – whether it’s getting your laundry done or taking part in a creative pursuit that means a lot to you. The distraction will be welcome, and by the time you check your phone next, your partner will likely have responded. Panic over.
Don’t stop doing the things that you love
Between work or school (or a combination of both) and a long distance relationship, you’ll probably find that a significant portion of your time is spoken for. And like we said, it’s really easy to fall into a habit of spending all your spare time communicating with your significant other or stretching yourself too thin. Talking, FaceTiming and texting is all you have when you’re apart, so you want to spend as much time as possible soaking up their love through these channels.
It’s really important to make your other half a top priority in your life, and one of the best ways to do that is to spend as much time communicating with them as possible. Being far away from the single most important person in your life is hard, painful and draining. So it’s even more important to be gentle with yourself and indulge in the things that you love. Make time for exercise (sooo important for keeping your mood lifted when you’re feeling sad about the distance), your hobbies, creative pursuits, and anything else that you love. You’re still you, and it’s really important to not lose yourself to the challenges of a long distance relationship.
These are just a few of the things we learned along the way (some of them we learned the hard way) and wanted to pass along to those currently in a long distance relationship. There are many other ways to make sure that you keep your life balanced, making time for your long distance love and for all the other very important people in and aspects of your life. Ultimately, you have to find what works best for you and your partner.