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Coronavirus and your long distance relationship

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You guys, it’s a surreal and frightening time to be alive. This week, the world looks very different than it did even just a week ago. We’ve seen people fighting one another in supermarkets for toilet paper like their life depends on it. We’ve seen eldelry people unable to buy necessities as a result of panic buying and hoarding tendencies. We’ve seen videos of Italian citizens on coronavirus lockdown leaning out their windows to sing together for a sense of community. Coronavirus is here, and it is leaving its mark on our society in a big way. 

We all know the advice – wash your hands, don’t go out if you’re feeling unwell, and be mindful of people who are susceptible to the virus, like elderly and disabled people, as well as those with compromised immune systems. But there’s another group of people whose lives are being thrown off kilter, and that’s the community of long distance couples and their families.

Those of us who are far from our significant other or loved ones are in no way left untouched by the COVID-19 pandemic. For those of you who are in a long distance relationship and separated by more than a car trip, we understand just how scary this is. When things like this happen, all we want to do is be with the people we love the most to offer comfort and band together. So for those in the long distance community, it’s a double-whammy. 

As the coronavirus outbreak has become a worldwide crisis, we’ve been sending our thoughts and love to our listeners and the community of long distance couples who are affected at this time. We can only imagine how many of you are having to cancel trips you’ve been anticipating. Trips to see your long distance love after weeks or months of being apart. Or, for those of you like Aindrea, who have had to cancel trips to see loved ones back home. For people who are away from their significant other, or who have left their families to close the distance, those visits are what keeps us going. 

We’re in no way healthcare professionals or travel experts, and all we can do is urge you to follow advice laid out by medical experts and  guidelines set out by travel authorities. If you’re meant to be travelling to a country to see a loved one that is being affected or is a non-advised travel zone, take that seriously. While you might be young and healthy, it’s important to remember that putting yourself at risk can cause the virus to be spread to those who are more susceptible, like grandparents or loved ones with serious illnesses. As the crisis develops, we are seeing more and more countries banning flights, like the US and the Czech Republic. You don’t want to find yourself in a position where you can’t get home or face visa issues for an unauthorised stay. 

What we can do though is offer you some ideas for how to cope with the uncertainty and prolonged distance that COVID-19 is presenting us. 

Talk about things other than coronavirus

It’s easier said than done, but it’s so, so, SO important that we find a way to carry on with what normal activities we can at this time. It’s all over social media.  It’s all our friends and coworkers are talking about. We’re checking on those we care about to make sure they’re safe, are being cautious and are able to get the items they need. But we have to take a step back and make sure that this does not consume our lives. 

Make sure to find time to talk about things that can’t tie back to coronavirus. Talk about movies, music and books that you’re enjoying. Make a conscious effort to ask fun questions or try different conversation starters. 

Talk more frequently

Situations like the current state of affairs can wreak havoc on our mental health. If there’s one thing we remember from our long distance days, it’s that talking to one another always helped us feel better. It didn’t matter what was going on in our separate lives or how difficult we were finding the distance, setting time aside to talk to one another or spend time together playing games online helped us escape for a little while. 

If you’re a long distance couple who don’t talk or Facetime as frequently as you could, now is the time to ramp up the communication. Do what you can to swap your schedules around so that you can talk more frequently. But, again, make sure you’re not just talking about the coronavirus panic. 

Plan for the future

Especially for those of you who have had to cancel travel plans to see your significant other, this is so important. Everything is topsy turvy right now so you may not know for what date you can rearrange your trip just yet. But why not start planning a memorable trip or activity that you’ll do together once this starts to blow over? Maybe you’ve been wanting to meet somewhere exciting like Hawaii or Iceland for ages, rather than just visiting one another’s hometown. Start making a list of things you’ll do, research hotels and restaurants or Airbnbs you want to check out while you’re there. 

This can be a great distraction from things that cause anxiety and also gives you something amazing to look forward to. You can also both start saving up for this trip. 

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Support each other in any way you can

The unfortunate truth of the coronavirus is that many people’s livelihoods are going to be affected. Lockdowns might mean that you or your partner can’t work or earn money, especially if you’re not able to work from home. If you’re in the position to do so, try and do what you can to help alleviate this burden. Think of ways you can be there for your partner during this difficult time. 

That might mean paying for a grocery delivery service to deliver food and essentials to your partner’s home. It might mean sending a care package or paying for a babysitter so that your partner can go to work after school closures.

We always advise people to be careful when lending money to a long distance partner, but if you’ve met and have a solid history together, you might be changing your partner’s life by lending them some money to make it through this crazy and difficult time. 

Try and see the big picture

As unprecedented and scary as all this is, it’s important that we all try to see the big picture. Use common sense, don’t buy into the panic, and remember that this is temporary. The world has faced countless pandemics and humanity has always made it through, though not always untouched. The middle ages were ravaged by plagues. The Spanish Flu wiped out 50,000,000 people worldwide in 1918. Hong Kong Flu killed nearly 4,000,000 people in the late 1960s. Bird Flu. Swine Flu. Norovirus kills 200,000 each year and Influenza kills over half a million people every year. 

Coronavirus is serious and should not be underestimated but try and remember that we live in a time where medical care has never been better, governments are putting legistation into place to help people with coronavirus-related medical costs and sick leave. 

In the face of all this, remember the facts. Love each other a little harder. Be gentle with yourself and do what you can to wait this out and stay safe. Hopefully before too long, the world will find some kind of normal again and we can go back to visiting each other as much as we want. 

In the meantime, we’re here for you, too. Ask any questions and vent in the comments below.